New Inspiration

Well it's been a crazy few weeks since my last post.  Two vacations, 42 hours of driving, and 9 days of hotels.  Needless to say there's been a major lack of exercise and clean eating lately. Now that we're back I'm slowly remembering how much happier l am in mind, body and spirit when I'm eating more nutritious food than fast food.

I'm noticing a cycle with myself.  Eat great, train hard, lose 10 lbs, reward myself with food... gain 10lbs... I gotta break this cycle, people!  Still figuring this one out, but I'm glad I'm aware of it,

This morning my munchkin and I got to watch my mother-in-law cross the finish line of her first race. She's always been a walker, or at least as long as I've known her, but lately she's been pushing herself more.  It was so invigorating being there.  Like the beginning of "Love, Actually", when they're in the airport and all you see is love.  There was sweat, of course, and tears (a few of them my own), but looking around me I saw and felt an overwhelming amount of love, support, comradery,  and respect.  These were 3,500 people of all shapes and sizes, all stages of life, who came together to celebrate simply *moving*.  Simply being *alive*.  To say I was deeply moved by this is an understatement.  I cried tears of joy as I watched perfect strangers do what their bodies were made to do. Breathe, move, live. 

l left the park with my 2yo in tow feeling renewed, motivated, inspired... ready.  I'm ready.  I have no doubt I was put on this planet to be the best mommy, wife, daughter, sister and friend I can be.  But my body was created to move. 

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life.....

Last night we had my mother-in-law come over to Munchkin-sit for a couple of hours.  I now realize how much we're striving to change our habits, because instead of going to Old Chicago (*drool*) and a movie, we went on a "gym date".  30 minutes of cardio followed by an AMAZING 60 minutes of strength-yoga.  I could literally feel the negativity leaving my mind and my pores (in the form of enormous sweat drops).

I took too many days off recently.  I did great last week until Friday, when an out-of-town friend came to visit and we were having way too much fun eating crap and hitting up the thriving metropolis of Boise to do any exercise or eat anything green.  I ended up not exercising Fri, Sat or Sun.  I did my couch to 10k on Monday, but no Jillian until Wednesday, so I went almost an entire week without her.  She tortured me for it though, don't you worry.

Last night when Andrew and I went to the gym we did our couch to 10k week 2 day 1.  I. Wanted. To. Die.  Not literally of course, but holy cow.   For a 240something lbs woman "sprint" (probably a light jog to most other people) for 90 seconds straight is not an easy feat.  It was painful.  I told my mom I almost turned into one of those blubbering women on The Biggest Loser.  It was SO hard, and such a GOOD reminder of why I'm doing it (and that I need new running shoes.)  It's hard because of the life I've lived the last several (several x several) years.  A life of eating entire pints of Haagen Dazs in one sitting.  A life of going weeks at a time of sitting on the couch.  A life of self-pity and poor excuses.  Yet here I am, trying to turn it around.

I realized yesterday this is the first time I've really taken this into my own hands.  Since losing weight and changing things 4 years ago with a very involved personal trainer, I haven't really "tried" on my own.  The task of taking responsibility for myself has been too daunting, too overwhelming, too easy to ignore.  But I finally feel like I'm getting it.  Like I'm on my way to fantastic things.  *Pats self on back*

I'm really excited to weigh and do my measurements on Monday.  I don't even know if anything will be that different.  I feel different, in my mind.  And I'm feelin' gooooood.....

Take #3275

Here I am again, two months since my last post (smh).  Why can't I be one of these super hip moms who updates her blogs weekly and somehow magically turns it into a career?  I envy them.

So here's what's been going down in Hayley town.  You won't be surprised to hear that I didn't stick to any of my pledges the last time I posted.  Andrew and I went on a weekend vacation to Portland to see his sister.  We obviously weren't going to even try to eat nutritious things, because when I think of a 6 hour car trip, Cheezits and powdered sugar gas station donuts come to mind.  We had a blast but didn't do anything active for the entire month of March, really.  Andrew hurt his back (and we all know how boys can be when they're "injured" or "sick"...), so there was no chance of getting him to the gym.  Owen got sick so I wasn't going to take him to the day care center or pawn him off on a grandparent who would inevitably catch whatever he had.  No, no, I took the easy way out.  Took off my Fitbit, set it on my counter and didn't look back the entire month.  I also delved deep back into my Pepsi and French fries habit.  Yuck!  I mean yum, but yuck!

I managed to lose 15 pounds over the course of February and part of March, actually, but for the last month I haven't really been weighing on a regular basis.  If I don't weigh daily, I don't weigh at all.  So this morning I slithered like a slug with a Papa Murphy's hangover from my bed to the scale.  And you know what that a-hole said?  EIGHT POUNDS UP.  So that sucked.  But, instead of going to Dutch Bros. and playing Candy Crush for the rest of the day, I made myself a little protein shake, cued up some Body Revolution (THANK YOU Amy!) and let Jillian tell me what to do for the next half hour.  After that I went to the gym for a Couch to 5k date with my sis-in-law.  And you know what?  I feel great!  I wanted to cry a little bit toward the end of my intervals, but I survived.

I'm not making promises anymore to anyone but myself.  When I was struggling through the running intervals on the treadmill I kept imagining a friend or family member or trainer saying, "You've got this girl!  Almost there!"  but really, if I'm being honest, that did nothing for me.  What DID help was just listening to my own inner voice tell me, "I've got this.  I'm almost there."  So, this is for me.  I know there are people I want to impress, as we all do, but really, this is for me.  I'm allowed to be selfish with this one.

So, here is my revised plan.  It's organized, it's easy to accomplish, and it makes me feel good.
MWF: Couch to 5k at the gym.
M-Sat: Jillian Michaels Body Revolution (90-day program)
Tues: Strength training with personal trainer.

Here are my "new" before pictures.  I wanted something to reference while I'm doing this 90 workout.  I plan to take a new set ever 30 days.  I took these today in the gym bathroom with my phone, so they're not that great.  And I made sure nobody was around so I wouldn't look like a pervert.  I also have a set of before photos from last fall that are just... the worst... so nobody will be seeing those until I'm "at goal".

There it is...

That arm is a FULL two inches larger than the left.  Blegh.

I promise I'm not five months pregnant.

Blackout!  Oh wait, that's just my ginormously wide arse.

My latest measurements are this:
Starting weight: 252
Current weight:  245.6
Arms: R 17" L 15" (seriously?)
Shoulders (from across the tops of my armpit chub and over my arms): 52"
Chest: 44"
High waist: 38.5"
Low waist: 46"
Hips:  52"
Thighs: R 32: L 31" (there it is again...)
Knee chub (if you don't have it, be thankful):  both sides 19"
Calves (calfs?): R 17" L 18"

Well if those photos and measurements don't scare you away, stay tuned!  I'll definitely update in 30 days, if not sooner.  Happy Monday!

I'm Back In the Saddle Again.........

Not really, but I'm trying to try.  The last two weeks have been just..... chaos.  Lots of sicky germs going around our house.  Everything from norovirus to a sinus infection to some really nasty cough.  At this point in time I am not doing anything physical.  I can't take Munchkin to the gym because of his germs, and Andrew is back to working a normal 8-5 schedule.  It was a lot easier to leave Owen with him when he was getting home by four.  Now I'm starting dinner as he's getting home.  And, I know, I could totally be one of those women who gets up at the crack of dawn to go work out before he leaves for work or at 9 at night after O is in bed.  But nope!  Not gonna be me.  I want this, I want to lose weight and be fit and feel good, but I don't want to sacrifice any more time with my family.  When Owen is 100%, we'll go to the gym.  Until then, DVDs and the elliptical will have to cut it.

Now, on the food front, bug and viruses in the house have led to complete laziness and lack of creativity.  We've done everything from ordering pizza to eating cinnamon/sugar toast for dinner.  Lazy, right?  Honestly, I enjoyed every bite of everything I ate and every sip of poisonous soda and coffee creamer.  But, my body didn't.  Lots of weird gastric issues going on in there.

All that to say, I weighed myself this morning for the first time in almost two weeks.  I expected to be back at square one, back up close to 250.  I wouldn't have been surprised, considering the billions of calories I've consumed.  But nope!  241.6.  I was 240.6 two weeks ago.  Shocked?  Yes I was.  Only a pound after all of that garbage and sitting.  Needless to say, I don't feel discouraged and loathsome of myself like I thought I would.  Instead, I feel good.  I feel like this is a great starting point to get back in the game, and in a week's time I could easily be in the 230s, which I haven't seen since shortly after Owen was born.  Here we go!

This week I pledge to:

 -Drink 96oz of water per day.
 -Eat a piece of fruit or veggie with each meal
 -Do elliptical twice
 -Do a DVD once

I'm easing myself back into it.  I also have some non-fitness-related goals I'll share with you.

 -Put away all of our laundry (seriously, it's out of control.)
 -Vacuum/mop every surface possible.

That's it!  I've gotten SO behind with our house.  I mean, I've never been your typical cleaning-machine house wife anyway, but right now the house is just out of control.

ANYWAY, enough with the house.  Hope you all have a great week!  Do something positive for yourselves!

On My Way to 10k!

Hello everyone!  I hope you've had a great week since I last updated. 

Since I last posted I have:
- Started a Zero to 10k running program
- Decided to *attempt* a half-marathon in June (yikes!)
- Lost half a pound (or 2 1/2 lbs, depending on which day I weighed...)
- Only taken one day off

So let me expand on these a bit.  Before this last week I was exercising 3-4 days per week.  Nothing was happening to my weight (besides going up a little, as I pointed out last week) despite the exercise and eating well *most* of the time.  Last Friday I was having a little bit of a bummer day (and a lazy one, at that).  I was planning to skip exercise that day until I found out my sister-in-law would be going to the rec center that night.  So I put on my big girl panties (literally) and went to meet her.  I did what was actually Week 1 Day 1 of Couch to 5k and LOVED it.  It was hard, brutal towards the end because I have zero stamina or endurance, but I was determined and felt really fantastic afterward.  Like I could conquer anything.  It made me realize that things are harder at this weight, I'm uncomfortable and my body is in pain because of what I've put it through the last several years.  But, at the same time, it helped me realize the discomfort I feel doing day-to-day things is no excuse to sit around and not take care of myself.  It also helped me realize my body is more capable of some things than I give/gave it credit for.

The half-marathon thing is something my mom and I talked about doing last year.  She's fit and healthy and I'm sure would be able to walk 13 miles no problemo.  But the weeks of "training" came and went and pretty soon I was out of time.  Being so out of shape I knew that I didn't want to attempt walking 13 miles.  It would've been too hard a feat, mentally and physically.  This year, however, I believe I can do it.  My sister-in-law is excited about get healthy and fit again and she and I started the Zero to 10k program.  It's roughly 10 weeks long, and from there I'll start a half-marathon event training program that's 12 weeks long.  We're about 22 weeks away from the half so it's good timing I suppose.  Right now I'm planning to run half of the half marathon.  About 6 1/2 miles.  If I can do more by then, great.  If not, it will still be an incredible accomplishment.  I've always envied runners.  In all their huffing and puffing glory they usually seem at peace and like it's a real joy for them.  I've always admired their commitment when it's 30 degrees outside, or 95 degrees outside, or 6 o'clock in the morning.  I hope I can adopt that persistence and drive someday. 


Last week we had pizza four times.  Crazy, right?  Once we made it here, once we ordered, and twice we had it at someone else's house.  When we were NOT eating pizza I was eating really quite well, and that plus the treadmill paid off for a half pound loss this week from last Wednesday.

Weight this week: 243.4

I'm getting verrrry impatient about breaking through into the 230s and have made it a goal to be at 239 or lower by the end of the month.  Two weeks, four pounds.  I think I can do it.  The running I've been doing on the treadmill has shown me how I should feel when I'm doing cardio.  The program pushes me to the brink of death before giving me a tiny break and then torturing me again.  Normally when I'm on my elliptical in the safe and private confines of my own home I go at a leisurely pace, in comparison.  So what I'm trying to say is, the Zero to 10k program is pushing me harder than I would choose to push myself.  I think this will pay off.

On a different note, I've been logging my work outs in a calendar on my kitchen table with stickers.  I've found that I really like seeing more stickers than blank spaces and at the end of the month I'll be happy to post a photo here of the sticker-filled January as well as my measurements and progress pics for the month. 

I hope you all have an awesome week, and make more good choices than poor ones!

Holding onto the Towel, Nice and Tight.

What I mean by that is, I am not "throwing in the towel".  This has been a weird and somewhat eye-opening week for me.  I started out the week (last Wednesday) with a weight of 245.0.  I was full of motivation to work my butt off and break through that five for this week's weigh in.  I hit the gym Wednesday for the first time and broke a great sweat doing some cardio.  The next day I tried my hand at a spin class with my sister-in-law.  We did great, got a fantastic work out and went waddling on our way.  Friday I had a busy day but squeezed in 35 minutes on my elliptical and walked quite a bit in the evening.  Saturday I went back to the rec center with Andrew and Munchkin.  I took my first yoga class and loved it!  After yoga, Owen was having a bit of a meltdown and we left.  When he went down for a nap that afternoon I did 50 minutes on my elliptical.  Sunday we had a lunch date planned at P.F. Chang's, so in the morning I got up early and did 35 minutes on my elliptical before church (I believe that was a first).  Monday night I went to my first step class.  It was much more difficult than I expected it to be... not necessarily because of the exercising part was extremely hard, but because I wasn't expecting it to be choreographed and so quick-paced.  Yesterday I had planned on doing elliptical during Munchkin's nap, but after the previous six days of activity and exercise (that my body is NOT used to) I ended up using it as a recovery/rest day. 

So.  All this to say, starting with my weight at 245.0 last Wednesday, the number crawled up, and up, and up throughout the week, ounce by ounce.  What the %#@! ??  Were my meals perfect?  Of course not.  But did I eat more veggies and less processed crap in that week than I have in months?  Definitely!  So you can see why I'm confused.  I've kept my calories between 1300-1600 every. Single. Day.  I haven't exercised so much in one week in about three years.  Back then, the weight seemed to "fall off".  I don't know why I'm having a harder time this time around.

My weight this morning: 243.8  (-1.2lbs)

I'm thrilled to be under the 5, and even more thrilled at the idea of being in the 230s for the first time since I was pregnant (although at this rate it'll be June before I've lost those four pounds!)

That being said, I'm not finished yet.  The me of 12, 6, 3 months ago would've given up already.  And I'm just not there.  I have other factors driving me and giving me motivation other than the shape of my body right now, and that's what this post is about. 

- Exercise makes me feel good.  Doesn't matter what it is or if I'm enjoying it in the moment, if I can start and finish a work out, I feel proud of myself.  I feel more energized.  I feel confident.  Those are all wonderful things!
- My insides are changing.  I might not see progress in the mirror right now, but I can feel it in little things, like the way my digestive system is happy and not giving me any issues, and the quality of sleep I'm getting, and the fact that I can actually ride on a stationary bike for 55 minutes without falling over. 
- My son.  I look at my son and covet his energy and his ability to constantly move.  I want to foster this in him as he grows in any way I can, and that will require me to be more active.  I want to keep up with him and set good examples for him as he ages, that having fun doesn't necessarily mean sitting in front of the television or videogames or computer (like so many kids today think).  Andrew and I share a past that involved playing outside, riding bikes/rollerblades, sharing family meals at the same table, reading books, playing sports (or at least trying, in my case).  These are all things we want for our kids and it will be harder to set that example if we're both a couple of lazy, sedentary duds.
- My future.  It has taken six years to gain almost exactly 100 pounds.  It terrifies me, petrifies me, sickens me to think about what life for me would be like in another six years if I don't change this path.  I want more children, I want to grow old with Andrew, I want to travel and love on grandbabies and possibly great-grandbabies, God-willing.  None of these things are possible without health, and I need to be controlling as much of my health as is humanly possible.

Wow.  I'm glad I did this today.  I can't say it's not all about numbers on a scale or a pair of jeans, because the fact of the matter is that I am currently in the "obese" category and need to drop my body fat percentage about 10%.  I can't say I don't care what I look like or that I'd be perfectly happy as a 16 or 14 or 12 for my entire life.  But I can say that I know physical activity and a healthy, nutritious diet play a big part in the life I want for myself and my family.  So, week by week, whether I see a drop on the scale or not, if I know I've put in the hours at the gym, if I know I've broken several good sweats, if I know I've eaten more green foods than brown, that's what matters.  I surrender myself to that. 

On a completely different note, I finally took my side-by-side photo.  For whatever reason, it doesn't seem to want to upload to this page.  I can tell you, though, that seven pounds and 6.5 inches has made a difference, albeit slight, that I can see.  My tummy looks a little flatter, but my butt looks higher, if that's at all possible.  So I guess the classes and the resistance training are helping back there!  Now, if only it would shrink a bit....



2013!

Here we are in January 2013.  How did this happen?  Wasn't it September, like, yesterday?  Well regardless of how fast time is flying by, I am SO excited for what this year will bring for our family.  This year I live within 30min of all of my siblings (which has never happened in our adult lives).  This means I can see my nephews any day of the week, I have a new work out buddy (my lovely sis-in-law Angela), and I am surrounded by love! 

Another thing I'm excited about regarding 2013-  fitness transformation!  Andrew and I were gifted a family membership at the rec center here in town, only about five minutes away from here.  We set it up Saturday and today Owen and I went for our first work out.  I exercised while he exercised his manners in the childcare center.  This was the first time I've left him in any form of daycare.  I was pretty nervous about it, but the moment we walked in he took off for the toys and play houses.  When I picked him up almost an hour later he ran to me, took my hand and led me out of the childcare area.  Guess he was ready to go!  On our way out he said he had fun (actually he said "yes" when I asked if he had fun) and gave me several big kisses.  I think this is gonna work! 

I made it through another week of Last Loser Standing this morning! 

Current weight: 245.0  (-0.6lbs)

I'm eager to break that five.  Now that the holidays are behind me, I'm putting the gym to use and I've started meal planning again I really see big results coming my way.  Can't wait to report them here for all two of you to see.  ;)

I left my camera at my parents' house on Monday night, so unfortunately you'll have to wait another week for me to post a photo of myself in the black dress, but I did take my measurements. 

Shoulders: 44.5" (-1.5)
Upper arm: 15" (same as four weeks ago, stubborn arm fat)
Chest: 44" (-1")
Waist: 37" (-1")
2" below belly button: 46" (same as four weeks ago, stubborn belly fat)
Hips: 51.5" (-1")
Upper thigh: 30 3/4" (-1 1/4")
2" below knee: 17.5" (-0.5")

There ya have it!  Down 3lbs and 6.25" since the start of this challenge, 7lbs from my highest weight (252.0).  Not great, but still progress so I'll take it!  Hoping to bump the numbers a bit bigger here in the next few months. 

I made a list of resolutions for this year.  I don't like the term resolution, so I'm gonna start calling my list an "annual bucket list".  The highest priority on this list is to be a size 12 by the end of the year.  Right now I'm a 16.  I think this is VERY doable, but I'm also hoping to have had another baby or be on my way by the end of the year, so that might make the goal a little harder to achieve.  Even so, I'm already working toward it and that make me proud of myself. 

I hope you've all set some attainable goals for yourselves this year, whether they be fitness related or not.  It's always a good thing to try and better yourself in one way or another.

I'll update again next Tuesday or Wednesday.  Have a blessed week and may your troubles be few!
xoxo