First of all, Merry (belated) Christmas! I hope you all had as lovely a holiday as I did. We were blessed with many opportunities to spend time with loved ones and we truly enjoyed it.
Onto the point of this. Wow. It's been a LONG time since I updated, and I feel the need to explain why. Losing weight is HARD. Actually, no. The commitment is hard. It's painful, and it's tough, and it's challenging, and sometimes I hate it. I've been having a rough time, people. My weight hasn't gone down (since my last update), and it's a result of many things combined.
This is a hard time of year. As I get older, and as life happens, the holidays become a harder, sadder, more difficult time. I find myself feeling lonely, or exhausted, or sad, or sleeping a lot. (This, I believe, is because of a recent family loss that I'm not going to get into right this moment.) On top of all this, I still struggle with my eating habits (the bad ones). The last ten or so years of my life I "ate my feelings". I ate when I was happy, when I was sad, when I was angry, when I was bored. My instincts still tell me to eat when I'm feeling any and all of these things. They don't, however, tell me to go for the Muscle Milk when there's a perfectly good bottle of wine in the fridge. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about.
So I guess the purpose of this update is to let you all know I'm human. I still struggle every day to make the right choices, both with food and exercise. I skip my cardio sometimes because it's the last thing I want to do in the whole world. Other times I break down and have a few cookies. It's still a challenge for me to stop and think before I make that choice, and it probably always will be. But the right choice is worth it in the long run, friends!! Someday I WILL achieve my fitness goals, and I WILL be able to wear those jeans that have been in my "shrink into" pile for years, and I WILL be able to stand in a full-length photo without cringing about the outcome.
I hope you all believe me when I say that I know this is hard. I need you to know that I don't always make the healthy choices, and I need you to know that I haven't forgotten my commitment to this new life I'm making for myself and my family. You're all such amazing friends, and you're so encouraging and supportive, and you're GREATLY appreciated. I gladly accept all forms of constructive criticism and positive reinforcement, and I hope you'll all let me know if you need it as well.
HERE'S TO A NEW YEAR, A FRESH MINDSET, AND A NEW LIFE!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Thursday, October 8, 2009
THERE'S A 1 ON THE SCALE!
That's right, folks! I broke that darn tootin' (lol) zero this week, and all I can say is "sigh".
To date, I have lost 30 pounds, and just over 30 inches off my whole body! I am SO proud of myself, and SO thankful for all of you. For your encouragement when I get discouraged and your praise when I succeed. You guys are the best!
I recently read an article in Health magazine about a woman who lost 125 pounds. I would type out the whole thing for you, but I'm not sure if that's legal. I'll just give you the jist of it. Her wake-up call was the day she realized she was ONE SIZE AWAY from the largest size Lane Bryant carries. This was in August of 2006. She made small changes to begin with. Cut out soda COMPLETELY (not really an easy change, but a GOOD change), but it wasn't until the following November that she got herself to step onto a scale. She weighed 293 pounds. She felt she needed to do something drastic, so she signed herself up for a water-aerobics class. As for her diet, the only changes she made (IN THE BEGINNING) were these: 1) She shrunk her portions and 2) she cut out fast food. Soon enough she started to feel better and had less pain in her knees and back. With the relief from her physical pain, she started walking, cycling and lifting weights. By July of 2008 (just a month shy of two years), she had dropped 125 pounds. Her original goal with this was just to feel better, and now she feels like she can "really live" (sue me, Health Magazine, for stealing that one quote.) She's thirty years old, started out a size 24-26, and is now an 8-10. If I could find a way to get her photo up on here I would, because she looks FANTASTIC.
So the moral of the story is that it's possible. This was such an inspirational story for me, and I hope it inspired some of you, too! If you're already in great shape and don't need to lose weight, I hope it inspires you to keep going and spread the word! And if you do need to get healthy and lose weight, I hope it shows you that YOU CAN DO IT. I believe in each and every one of you, and I love you all!
To date, I have lost 30 pounds, and just over 30 inches off my whole body! I am SO proud of myself, and SO thankful for all of you. For your encouragement when I get discouraged and your praise when I succeed. You guys are the best!
I recently read an article in Health magazine about a woman who lost 125 pounds. I would type out the whole thing for you, but I'm not sure if that's legal. I'll just give you the jist of it. Her wake-up call was the day she realized she was ONE SIZE AWAY from the largest size Lane Bryant carries. This was in August of 2006. She made small changes to begin with. Cut out soda COMPLETELY (not really an easy change, but a GOOD change), but it wasn't until the following November that she got herself to step onto a scale. She weighed 293 pounds. She felt she needed to do something drastic, so she signed herself up for a water-aerobics class. As for her diet, the only changes she made (IN THE BEGINNING) were these: 1) She shrunk her portions and 2) she cut out fast food. Soon enough she started to feel better and had less pain in her knees and back. With the relief from her physical pain, she started walking, cycling and lifting weights. By July of 2008 (just a month shy of two years), she had dropped 125 pounds. Her original goal with this was just to feel better, and now she feels like she can "really live" (sue me, Health Magazine, for stealing that one quote.) She's thirty years old, started out a size 24-26, and is now an 8-10. If I could find a way to get her photo up on here I would, because she looks FANTASTIC.
So the moral of the story is that it's possible. This was such an inspirational story for me, and I hope it inspired some of you, too! If you're already in great shape and don't need to lose weight, I hope it inspires you to keep going and spread the word! And if you do need to get healthy and lose weight, I hope it shows you that YOU CAN DO IT. I believe in each and every one of you, and I love you all!
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
What a Whirlwind Month!
Well it appears that it's been a good six weeks or so since I last updated. I can officially say I've lost 30 POUNDS! And I feel fantastic!
September was a hard month. There were a LOT of emotions and mental obstacles that taunted me and tried to get in the way of my goals. It was hard; harder than I expected it to be. But it will soon be October, a new month, a new century (I'll be in the 100s instead of 200s) and new clothes, of course. :)
Lately I've been getting a lot of compliments, and I'm so thankful that people are noticing the outcome of my hard work. However, it's still pretty awkward. I'll have to get used to people looking at me and critiquing my every move and everything I put in my mouth, but what I want more than anything is to set a good example for other people and show them "it" can be done.
I've also been hearing "If only"s and "I really need to do that"s and "I wish I could do it"s. Well guess what, people- YOU CAN! I've confided in a couple of people that I don't really know how to respond when these comments come up. Both agreed that "you can" is the best response. It's SO doable. It's hard, it's painful, it's emotional, but it's WORTH IT. I have a tendency of trying to take responsibility for you. ("You" are the people who WANT the results but make every excuse to get out of working for them.) I can't make you do anything. All I can do is encourage you and tell you over and over and over and over and over again that you can do it, even if it means telling you a thousand times before you get your butt off the couch.
PLEASE don't get me wrong. I HAVE BEEN THERE. We all have different stories and different experiences, I know. But at the root of that we all have something in common. We want to feel good. We want to LOOK good. We want to live long and healthy lives. We want to be able to ride in the car without unbuttoning our jeans on the way home from work. (Seriously. That's a big one for me.)
I also know it's hard not having an accountability partner and feeling like you're in it "alone". So this is my vow. As long as you need my encouragement, I'll give it. As long as you need my prayers, I'll ask them. As long as you ask for advice, I'll share. But I'm starting this new month with a promise to myself that I will try not to focus on you. I'm going to focus on me. YOU focus on you. Deal? Deal. ((handshake)) In order to meet my goals and accomplish my aspirations in my new life, I HAVE to focus on me. I don't really have much of a choice anymore. Maybe when all is said and done, I'll be a trainer, and I'll kick all of your butts. ;) (Kidding.)
*sigh* Now that I got that rant out of my system, I can move on to other things! Andrew has lost so much weight, as well! He started this journey at about 215 pounds on his 5'10" frame (as of the first week of June), and as of this morning weighed in at a lean, mean, running-machine 181 pounds! That puts him 6-10 pounds from his overall goal, and I am SO proud of him. He's such an amazing person. So supportive, so encouraging, and ALWAYS holds me accountable. I may be tempted, but he knocks the ideas of cookies and pasta right out of my head with kind and motivating words, and I couldn't be more thankful for that. Way to go, babe!!
I've also decided to devote more time to myself. I'm home alone often, which I love, but I tend to spend all of that time watching trashy tv or playing on Facebook... I'm going to try to find a couple of hobbies. This time of year I love to knit, paint and draw. I also love to journal (e.g. Blogspot.) I just feel like I need more things that are mine. Things that I don't have to share with Andrew, or friends, or anyone, really. So if anyone has any ideas, please share!
Everyone have a fabulous week! I won't wait so long to update next time. Love you all and thank you for your encouragement and love!
September was a hard month. There were a LOT of emotions and mental obstacles that taunted me and tried to get in the way of my goals. It was hard; harder than I expected it to be. But it will soon be October, a new month, a new century (I'll be in the 100s instead of 200s) and new clothes, of course. :)
Lately I've been getting a lot of compliments, and I'm so thankful that people are noticing the outcome of my hard work. However, it's still pretty awkward. I'll have to get used to people looking at me and critiquing my every move and everything I put in my mouth, but what I want more than anything is to set a good example for other people and show them "it" can be done.
I've also been hearing "If only"s and "I really need to do that"s and "I wish I could do it"s. Well guess what, people- YOU CAN! I've confided in a couple of people that I don't really know how to respond when these comments come up. Both agreed that "you can" is the best response. It's SO doable. It's hard, it's painful, it's emotional, but it's WORTH IT. I have a tendency of trying to take responsibility for you. ("You" are the people who WANT the results but make every excuse to get out of working for them.) I can't make you do anything. All I can do is encourage you and tell you over and over and over and over and over again that you can do it, even if it means telling you a thousand times before you get your butt off the couch.
PLEASE don't get me wrong. I HAVE BEEN THERE. We all have different stories and different experiences, I know. But at the root of that we all have something in common. We want to feel good. We want to LOOK good. We want to live long and healthy lives. We want to be able to ride in the car without unbuttoning our jeans on the way home from work. (Seriously. That's a big one for me.)
I also know it's hard not having an accountability partner and feeling like you're in it "alone". So this is my vow. As long as you need my encouragement, I'll give it. As long as you need my prayers, I'll ask them. As long as you ask for advice, I'll share. But I'm starting this new month with a promise to myself that I will try not to focus on you. I'm going to focus on me. YOU focus on you. Deal? Deal. ((handshake)) In order to meet my goals and accomplish my aspirations in my new life, I HAVE to focus on me. I don't really have much of a choice anymore. Maybe when all is said and done, I'll be a trainer, and I'll kick all of your butts. ;) (Kidding.)
*sigh* Now that I got that rant out of my system, I can move on to other things! Andrew has lost so much weight, as well! He started this journey at about 215 pounds on his 5'10" frame (as of the first week of June), and as of this morning weighed in at a lean, mean, running-machine 181 pounds! That puts him 6-10 pounds from his overall goal, and I am SO proud of him. He's such an amazing person. So supportive, so encouraging, and ALWAYS holds me accountable. I may be tempted, but he knocks the ideas of cookies and pasta right out of my head with kind and motivating words, and I couldn't be more thankful for that. Way to go, babe!!
I've also decided to devote more time to myself. I'm home alone often, which I love, but I tend to spend all of that time watching trashy tv or playing on Facebook... I'm going to try to find a couple of hobbies. This time of year I love to knit, paint and draw. I also love to journal (e.g. Blogspot.) I just feel like I need more things that are mine. Things that I don't have to share with Andrew, or friends, or anyone, really. So if anyone has any ideas, please share!
Everyone have a fabulous week! I won't wait so long to update next time. Love you all and thank you for your encouragement and love!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Really??
I looked like this? SERIOUSLY? Going through my photos today I think I realized for the first time how much I've changed. I know other people see it, because they don't see me as often, but when I see myself every day the change is much more gradual. I just wanted to show everyone the last (and probably only) full-body "before picture" I had before this whole process began. This was a friend's wedding in January of this year.
So the last few weeks have been KUH-razy busy. We've been spending time with family we haven't seen in nearly two years, and falling in love with their children. Our niece, Anaiah, is almost 2. We hadn't seen her since she was just a few months old. And our nephew, Evan, is 6mo. This is the first time meeting him. They got here a couple of weeks ago, and so far we've crammed a good six weeks of visiting and entertainment into the last few. It's been such a blessing, getting to spend this time with them. They are VERY loved and GREATLY missed when they're in Africa.
Last week was a VERY good week. (I'm typing a lot in all caps, because I'm excited tonight, for whatever reason.) We spent four lovely days in McCall with immediate family and we had such a good time. Lots of visiting, lots of lake-time, lots of down time. It was relaxing, and we all loved it.
I ended up going an entire week without seeing Jen. This has happened twice now, since we started together, and both times I've been out-of-my-mind nervous. But both times have produced good results.... this last time I lost nearly 7 POUNDS in a WEEK! :D I was (and still am) so excited, and SO proud of myself. (This week the results weren't as good, but there are extenuating circumstances, if you catch my drift...)
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
8 Weeks...
This is the most recent photo I have of myself. I'm eating out at a restaurant, but don't worry, I made wise choices. :) And I couldn't figure out how to crop Sam out of it, so hopefully she doesn't mind having her photo on the world-wide-web. :)
Yesterday marked the 8 week anniversary of this whole life-changing experience. It sounds cheesey, but it's SO true. In eight weeks I've managed to lose 14.5 inches from all over my body, and lose 20 pounds. (Well, 19 point something, but lets round up, shall we?) And that's just on the outside. I have my annual physical in September, and I can hardly wait to find out my blood pressure and to see the look on my doc's face when I get on that dreaded hospital scale.
I can't believe how far I've already come. It's such an amazing feeling. And as I lose weight and get in better shape, I'm less afraid/embarassed to share with you what I started out at in my journey. I weighed in at 229 pounds. I'll pause here to let you guys throw up/cry/gasp/swear......... Okay, we good? I was in size 18 jeans/pants/bottoms in general and 14-16 top...... Here's the amazing part. Yesterday I was trying on old clothes (it's definitely more fun when they start to fit again), and I got myself COMFORTABLY into a pair of size 14 jeans! They were zipped, buttoned, and with little-to-no muffin-top! I'm think by the end of next week they'll be just about perfect... :)
So like I said, I went through ALL of my clothes. This had never been done before. So EEEEK. I ended up with 2 black garbage bags full of give-away clothes. Oh and a smallish box. I also ended up with a GIGANTIC Rubbermaid full of clothes that WILL fit this winter. :D Oh, and two medium-sized Rubbermaids full of clothes that WILL fit next summer. I'm getting so excited. It's just a whole new world (go ahead and sing the song. I'll have it stuck in my head all night, too.) It's amazing to look at a pair of jeans that you haven't worn in two years and be EXCITED about wearing them AGAIN, rather than depressed as hell because you never will, and then (lets face it) you go binge-friggin-crazy on Cold Stone and Olive Garden breadsticks. Yes ladies and gentlemen, those were my drugs of choice.
Now that I'm feeling so much better, mentally AND physically, I'm really trying to inspire people. I know how painful it is to be overweight, and I wasn't even as big as a lot of people start out. But I was sad, and angry, and disappointed in myself, and depressed, and really unhappy. And I think everyone who is out of shape, in any way, shape or form, feels those things. So I want to help someone. I want to motivate someone. Being fit and feisty will be great fun, but I've decided my ultimate goal is to help someone else change their life. Wish me luck!
Yesterday marked the 8 week anniversary of this whole life-changing experience. It sounds cheesey, but it's SO true. In eight weeks I've managed to lose 14.5 inches from all over my body, and lose 20 pounds. (Well, 19 point something, but lets round up, shall we?) And that's just on the outside. I have my annual physical in September, and I can hardly wait to find out my blood pressure and to see the look on my doc's face when I get on that dreaded hospital scale.
I can't believe how far I've already come. It's such an amazing feeling. And as I lose weight and get in better shape, I'm less afraid/embarassed to share with you what I started out at in my journey. I weighed in at 229 pounds. I'll pause here to let you guys throw up/cry/gasp/swear......... Okay, we good? I was in size 18 jeans/pants/bottoms in general and 14-16 top...... Here's the amazing part. Yesterday I was trying on old clothes (it's definitely more fun when they start to fit again), and I got myself COMFORTABLY into a pair of size 14 jeans! They were zipped, buttoned, and with little-to-no muffin-top! I'm think by the end of next week they'll be just about perfect... :)
So like I said, I went through ALL of my clothes. This had never been done before. So EEEEK. I ended up with 2 black garbage bags full of give-away clothes. Oh and a smallish box. I also ended up with a GIGANTIC Rubbermaid full of clothes that WILL fit this winter. :D Oh, and two medium-sized Rubbermaids full of clothes that WILL fit next summer. I'm getting so excited. It's just a whole new world (go ahead and sing the song. I'll have it stuck in my head all night, too.) It's amazing to look at a pair of jeans that you haven't worn in two years and be EXCITED about wearing them AGAIN, rather than depressed as hell because you never will, and then (lets face it) you go binge-friggin-crazy on Cold Stone and Olive Garden breadsticks. Yes ladies and gentlemen, those were my drugs of choice.
Now that I'm feeling so much better, mentally AND physically, I'm really trying to inspire people. I know how painful it is to be overweight, and I wasn't even as big as a lot of people start out. But I was sad, and angry, and disappointed in myself, and depressed, and really unhappy. And I think everyone who is out of shape, in any way, shape or form, feels those things. So I want to help someone. I want to motivate someone. Being fit and feisty will be great fun, but I've decided my ultimate goal is to help someone else change their life. Wish me luck!
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
New font.
They need to get some new ones for this whole "blog thing". I'm working on getting a new body, so I'd like some new font options as well. Is that really too much to ask for? I think not.
Today was okay. I lost 1.5lbs this week. Eh. It's good, because it's something, but it's not great. However, I did cheat quite a friggin' bit this last week, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I went to my workout this morning, and it went well. I got a teensy bit lightheaded, but mostly I was just so short of breath because she really wanted me all over the place. I definitely work my a** off when I'm there!
So this is a new week. I'm going to try to go the whole week without cheating, or at least cheating as little as possible. Now when I say "cheating", I don't mean I'm going to Cold Stone or eating pizza every day. This week marks my 1 month anniversary without soda, and I'm not planning on breaking that any time soon! No, no, by cheating I mean a piece of cheese. Or a glass of chocolate milk. As all of you well know, these things that I seem to be "cheating" with are still MUCH healthier for me than the things I was eating even a month ago!
Today was three weeks since I started this whole program. I've officially lost ten pounds. It's going well. I'm trying to be patient. It doesn't all need to come off within two months. It's better for me in the long run to take my time. This is just as much, if not moreso, about forming healthy habits as it is about losing weight. Habits that I will have forever, so I can control myself when occasions arise that provide certain temptations.... And eating this way isn't FOREVER. It's just until I'm fit, healthy, and happy with my new body (soooo excited to see that, by the way!) At that point it'll just be about "maintaining the goods". Lol!
Andrew's doing very well, too. He's lost around 10 pounds. I can tell in his belly. :) He's been really good about running on the elliptical when he has time; on average probably 4 or 5 times a week. He's also LOVING the food we have. He's a rare human being. I say this because he craves fresh fruit and veggies and meat. He basically craves everything that's good for you. I don't. But I'm getting there. I definitely enjoy most things I'm eating. Tonight I went to the store and bought a Litehouse dressing. It's pomegranate blueberry vinaigrette. 20 cals per serving. I'm excited to try it on my spinach and strawberry salad. :)
Anyway, we're getting there. I'm sooo excited, also, for my friends who are making these changes in their lives. We're all becoming healthier, happier people, and it's SO worth it! I'm very proud of you, girls. We're doing this! Finally! Keep up the good work, and just think about how we'll look in a few months. And also, thank you so much for the support you give me. It means the world to have friends that care about my happiness. You're the best! *MWAH* (that's a smooch)
Today was okay. I lost 1.5lbs this week. Eh. It's good, because it's something, but it's not great. However, I did cheat quite a friggin' bit this last week, so I'm sure that has something to do with it. I went to my workout this morning, and it went well. I got a teensy bit lightheaded, but mostly I was just so short of breath because she really wanted me all over the place. I definitely work my a** off when I'm there!
So this is a new week. I'm going to try to go the whole week without cheating, or at least cheating as little as possible. Now when I say "cheating", I don't mean I'm going to Cold Stone or eating pizza every day. This week marks my 1 month anniversary without soda, and I'm not planning on breaking that any time soon! No, no, by cheating I mean a piece of cheese. Or a glass of chocolate milk. As all of you well know, these things that I seem to be "cheating" with are still MUCH healthier for me than the things I was eating even a month ago!
Today was three weeks since I started this whole program. I've officially lost ten pounds. It's going well. I'm trying to be patient. It doesn't all need to come off within two months. It's better for me in the long run to take my time. This is just as much, if not moreso, about forming healthy habits as it is about losing weight. Habits that I will have forever, so I can control myself when occasions arise that provide certain temptations.... And eating this way isn't FOREVER. It's just until I'm fit, healthy, and happy with my new body (soooo excited to see that, by the way!) At that point it'll just be about "maintaining the goods". Lol!
Andrew's doing very well, too. He's lost around 10 pounds. I can tell in his belly. :) He's been really good about running on the elliptical when he has time; on average probably 4 or 5 times a week. He's also LOVING the food we have. He's a rare human being. I say this because he craves fresh fruit and veggies and meat. He basically craves everything that's good for you. I don't. But I'm getting there. I definitely enjoy most things I'm eating. Tonight I went to the store and bought a Litehouse dressing. It's pomegranate blueberry vinaigrette. 20 cals per serving. I'm excited to try it on my spinach and strawberry salad. :)
Anyway, we're getting there. I'm sooo excited, also, for my friends who are making these changes in their lives. We're all becoming healthier, happier people, and it's SO worth it! I'm very proud of you, girls. We're doing this! Finally! Keep up the good work, and just think about how we'll look in a few months. And also, thank you so much for the support you give me. It means the world to have friends that care about my happiness. You're the best! *MWAH* (that's a smooch)
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Why can't I stop watching America's Next Top Model marathons....
So I had a great workout with Jenn today. However, it's Thursday. And every Thursday marks the four days/week that I'm without Jenn.... and during those four days I usually feel like I'm suffocating from too much healthy food. She told me, though, that when I weigh-in next Tuesday, if I've had a good week (which means lost minimum of 2 pounds) I can start having low-fat string cheese. :D YAY! Definitely looking forward to that.
My parents left town yesterday, and I'm "in charge" of cooking dinner for my brother, Evan, tonight. What does he want? Does he want baked chicken and salad? Noooo. Does he want turkey with spinach and hummus? Noooo. He wants LASAGNA. I'm not gonna lie, I make a pretty mean lasagna. (Ignore the last time I made it, Amanda. It tasted like crap. Lol!) And I know that I'm going to eat some. I'm not going to put the time and effort into making something like that and NOT eat any of it. I just need to control myself. And honestly, I think I'll be fine. I'm going on three weeks without much sugar or salt, so I'm thinking it'll taste so salty that I won't be able to eat much of it anyway. So I'm excited, in a way, to try the lasagna. It'll be a good test for me.
(Nigel from ANTM is so sexy.)
Well, I don't have much else to say. I should probably get started on dinner. Wish me luck!!
My parents left town yesterday, and I'm "in charge" of cooking dinner for my brother, Evan, tonight. What does he want? Does he want baked chicken and salad? Noooo. Does he want turkey with spinach and hummus? Noooo. He wants LASAGNA. I'm not gonna lie, I make a pretty mean lasagna. (Ignore the last time I made it, Amanda. It tasted like crap. Lol!) And I know that I'm going to eat some. I'm not going to put the time and effort into making something like that and NOT eat any of it. I just need to control myself. And honestly, I think I'll be fine. I'm going on three weeks without much sugar or salt, so I'm thinking it'll taste so salty that I won't be able to eat much of it anyway. So I'm excited, in a way, to try the lasagna. It'll be a good test for me.
(Nigel from ANTM is so sexy.)
Well, I don't have much else to say. I should probably get started on dinner. Wish me luck!!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
I Hate Titling These Every Time....
So I had a FANTASTIC work out with Jenn yesterday. When I first started this "journey", there were two sessions in a row where I almost passed out. It was insane. And you know, it really scared me. It made me feel completely helpless. And it made me think, "There is NOTHING that is worth feeling this way." The good news is, this hasn't happened the last three sessions. My body is starting to build endurance, and my heart doesn't think that I'm trying to kill it. :)
So she always weighs me on Tuesdays, which I believe I told you about in my last post... anyway, I had a great week last week, and according to yesterday's weigh-in I lost two pounds, which brought my total to 8.3 pounds in two weeks! Well I always weigh in before my session, and then I secretly weigh myself again the next day. (I'm somewhat addicted to my scale right now, as all I've been getting are good results.) This morning I had lost ANOTHER 2 pounds! And I know they're different scales, but I've done the math and calculated the differences in each one, so I know it's for real. Aaaack! *Sweat Drops*Sweat Drops*Sweat Drops*!!!!!!! I was so unbelievably excited.
I worked all afternoon today, and absolutely HATED the idea of doing my cardio, but I did it anyway. I did my 35 minutes, during which I burned 407 calories. Then I got off the elliptical, drank some water, and thought, "Hey... I could go again. I feel great today!" So I got back on for another 30 minutes! I ended up burning 754.6 calories, total! I feel soooo good.
It feels amazing to be seeing results. Yesterday I told Jenn that I want nothing more right now than to be able to have string cheese. She said, "MAYBE in two weeks... I'll think about it." (she's not mean, she said it with a smile). It was then that I realized I don't care. I can live without certain things pretty easily now, because I know it's working. I can feel the changes taking place inside my body, and yesterday I started seeing them. Not only are my clothes (slightly) fitting looser, my skin is clearing up. I hadn't noticed until this morning, but I haven't had a breakout since before I started eating "clean" and exercising on a regular basis. Weird, yeah? I dig it, though. :)
Anyway, I'm starving. I'm gonna go shower off my sweatiness and make some (boring-but-worth-it) dinner!
So she always weighs me on Tuesdays, which I believe I told you about in my last post... anyway, I had a great week last week, and according to yesterday's weigh-in I lost two pounds, which brought my total to 8.3 pounds in two weeks! Well I always weigh in before my session, and then I secretly weigh myself again the next day. (I'm somewhat addicted to my scale right now, as all I've been getting are good results.) This morning I had lost ANOTHER 2 pounds! And I know they're different scales, but I've done the math and calculated the differences in each one, so I know it's for real. Aaaack! *Sweat Drops*Sweat Drops*Sweat Drops*!!!!!!! I was so unbelievably excited.
I worked all afternoon today, and absolutely HATED the idea of doing my cardio, but I did it anyway. I did my 35 minutes, during which I burned 407 calories. Then I got off the elliptical, drank some water, and thought, "Hey... I could go again. I feel great today!" So I got back on for another 30 minutes! I ended up burning 754.6 calories, total! I feel soooo good.
It feels amazing to be seeing results. Yesterday I told Jenn that I want nothing more right now than to be able to have string cheese. She said, "MAYBE in two weeks... I'll think about it." (she's not mean, she said it with a smile). It was then that I realized I don't care. I can live without certain things pretty easily now, because I know it's working. I can feel the changes taking place inside my body, and yesterday I started seeing them. Not only are my clothes (slightly) fitting looser, my skin is clearing up. I hadn't noticed until this morning, but I haven't had a breakout since before I started eating "clean" and exercising on a regular basis. Weird, yeah? I dig it, though. :)
Anyway, I'm starving. I'm gonna go shower off my sweatiness and make some (boring-but-worth-it) dinner!
Monday, June 15, 2009
Thundercats Are Gooooo!
Ugh, there's SO much to say. I've officially started over. As you can see, it's been a while since I logged in and updated this!
I've started a new lifestyle. Most days I feel pretty good, but I have my bad, bored, wannabe self-destructive (food-wise) days, too. Andrew's been EXTREMELY supportive thus far, and thoroughly enjoys coming home to an actual cooked-from-scratch dinner every night. It's a total 180 from Freschetta pizzas and grilled cheese. :)
I won't go into details unless someone asks for them, but I'm basically eating 5 times a day. I eat three "square" meals, and two snacks; one in the afternoon, and one right before bed. I'm on a very low calorie plan in comparison to how I was eating before, so I have to make sure I eat often to keep my energy up. It's kind of weird, actually. I eat fewer calories, and twice or three times the amount of food. I feel less bloated, and more.... regular, if you will. ;) Sorry, probably t.m.i., but it's true. It's amazing what eating fresh, "clean" foods can do for your body. I have virtually no preservatives in my system anymore.
I've also been seeing a trainer. Her name is Jenn, and she's fantastic. I see her Tuesdays and Thursdays for weight-training. She weighs me Tuesdays. I also stay at the gym after my workout with her to do 35-40 minutes of cardio. This has been a little bit trickier, mentally and emotionally. I find myself relying on her to "make" me lose weight, when really that's not her job. Her job is to encourage me, motivate me, and remind me of WHY I want to get healthy. It's not her job to force me to do it. So when I make improvements (and when I don't), I find myself either thanking or "cursing" her. I just have to get over that. This is my life, this is my choice. Nobody is making me take this road, I chose it because of the future I envision for myself and my family.
On a lighter note, the first week I lost 6.2 pounds! It was an amazing accomplishment, and I'm sure most of it was water weight I'd been carrying around because of the soda and everything. It's been over 2 weeks since I've had soda, so that's exciting, too! :) On top of my time with Jenn, I'm doing 4 days a week (minimum) of cardio, and I'm supposed to be doing 1 day a week of yoga, though I haven't been super committed to that yet.... I'm supposed to do it to help improve my flexibility and to lengthen the muscle I'm building. Maybe I'll do it today...
This last weekend my lovely monthly friend came to visit (and I'm not talking about Amanda.) :) So I've felt extremely discouraged, because of the bloating and the laziness. I literally forced myself to do two extra days of cardio this week, and I was still up a pound this morning. *growl* Amanda and I decided I need to put my scale away. Technically I'm not really supposed to know what I weigh at all. Jenn wanted me to "give that worry to her", so I didn't dwell on it.... I haven't done a great job of that so far. :) I'll try, though, from now on. It can be bad to know what you weigh down to the ouncy every single morning, because a glass of water could make you feel fat!
Anyway, today I'm supposed to do my cardio, and I've been in my p.j.s all day. I hate when I'm lazy like this. But I haven't been able to turn off the tv with this ANTM marathon going on!
Wish me luck, world. I'm out to kick fat's ass.
I've started a new lifestyle. Most days I feel pretty good, but I have my bad, bored, wannabe self-destructive (food-wise) days, too. Andrew's been EXTREMELY supportive thus far, and thoroughly enjoys coming home to an actual cooked-from-scratch dinner every night. It's a total 180 from Freschetta pizzas and grilled cheese. :)
I won't go into details unless someone asks for them, but I'm basically eating 5 times a day. I eat three "square" meals, and two snacks; one in the afternoon, and one right before bed. I'm on a very low calorie plan in comparison to how I was eating before, so I have to make sure I eat often to keep my energy up. It's kind of weird, actually. I eat fewer calories, and twice or three times the amount of food. I feel less bloated, and more.... regular, if you will. ;) Sorry, probably t.m.i., but it's true. It's amazing what eating fresh, "clean" foods can do for your body. I have virtually no preservatives in my system anymore.
I've also been seeing a trainer. Her name is Jenn, and she's fantastic. I see her Tuesdays and Thursdays for weight-training. She weighs me Tuesdays. I also stay at the gym after my workout with her to do 35-40 minutes of cardio. This has been a little bit trickier, mentally and emotionally. I find myself relying on her to "make" me lose weight, when really that's not her job. Her job is to encourage me, motivate me, and remind me of WHY I want to get healthy. It's not her job to force me to do it. So when I make improvements (and when I don't), I find myself either thanking or "cursing" her. I just have to get over that. This is my life, this is my choice. Nobody is making me take this road, I chose it because of the future I envision for myself and my family.
On a lighter note, the first week I lost 6.2 pounds! It was an amazing accomplishment, and I'm sure most of it was water weight I'd been carrying around because of the soda and everything. It's been over 2 weeks since I've had soda, so that's exciting, too! :) On top of my time with Jenn, I'm doing 4 days a week (minimum) of cardio, and I'm supposed to be doing 1 day a week of yoga, though I haven't been super committed to that yet.... I'm supposed to do it to help improve my flexibility and to lengthen the muscle I'm building. Maybe I'll do it today...
This last weekend my lovely monthly friend came to visit (and I'm not talking about Amanda.) :) So I've felt extremely discouraged, because of the bloating and the laziness. I literally forced myself to do two extra days of cardio this week, and I was still up a pound this morning. *growl* Amanda and I decided I need to put my scale away. Technically I'm not really supposed to know what I weigh at all. Jenn wanted me to "give that worry to her", so I didn't dwell on it.... I haven't done a great job of that so far. :) I'll try, though, from now on. It can be bad to know what you weigh down to the ouncy every single morning, because a glass of water could make you feel fat!
Anyway, today I'm supposed to do my cardio, and I've been in my p.j.s all day. I hate when I'm lazy like this. But I haven't been able to turn off the tv with this ANTM marathon going on!
Wish me luck, world. I'm out to kick fat's ass.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
So.....
Yeah, as you can see it's been a while since my last post. Mostly I'm ashamed at the horrid job I'm doing so far with this. And my husband informed me last night that he's lost SEVEN POUNDS. *sigh*
I don't know what my problem is. Every night when the day is finally coming to an end, I feel most motivated. This doesn't make sense to me. And I'm not going to act on it at 11:00 pm, either, because then my energy will be up and I won't be able to fall asleep.
I know I need to lose weight. I want Andrew and I to grow old together and see our grandchildren, and possibly even great-grandchildren. I know for a fact that won't happen if I carry-on this way.
I'd say it's hard, but that's just an excuse. I don't have anything to say that makes it better. I'm just lazy. I hate the way I look, I hate putting on double-digit clothes every day, I hate trying to cover up any lumps and rolls with more layers and then sweating to death. I hate that I can't wear a short-sleeved shirt anymore without seeing stretch marks, nor can I wear shorts for the same reason. It's like my whole body has given up. I really, truly hate it, and if I didn't have a husband who loves me so much, I know I'd be severely, probably clinically depressed at this point. As it is I feel a little depressed about it sometimes anyway. But what can I do? You say, "Don't give up, Hayley!" and "Just keep at it! It'll happen!" but I say, "Pshaw, easier said than done." It is. It's WAY easier to say I'll do it tomorrow, to say it'll get better with time, and it's easier to imagine myself wearing those cute, old "never-gonna-get-rid-of-'em clothes" than to actually put in the effort.
So I ask again: What. Do. I. Do.? God help me.
I don't know what my problem is. Every night when the day is finally coming to an end, I feel most motivated. This doesn't make sense to me. And I'm not going to act on it at 11:00 pm, either, because then my energy will be up and I won't be able to fall asleep.
I know I need to lose weight. I want Andrew and I to grow old together and see our grandchildren, and possibly even great-grandchildren. I know for a fact that won't happen if I carry-on this way.
I'd say it's hard, but that's just an excuse. I don't have anything to say that makes it better. I'm just lazy. I hate the way I look, I hate putting on double-digit clothes every day, I hate trying to cover up any lumps and rolls with more layers and then sweating to death. I hate that I can't wear a short-sleeved shirt anymore without seeing stretch marks, nor can I wear shorts for the same reason. It's like my whole body has given up. I really, truly hate it, and if I didn't have a husband who loves me so much, I know I'd be severely, probably clinically depressed at this point. As it is I feel a little depressed about it sometimes anyway. But what can I do? You say, "Don't give up, Hayley!" and "Just keep at it! It'll happen!" but I say, "Pshaw, easier said than done." It is. It's WAY easier to say I'll do it tomorrow, to say it'll get better with time, and it's easier to imagine myself wearing those cute, old "never-gonna-get-rid-of-'em clothes" than to actually put in the effort.
So I ask again: What. Do. I. Do.? God help me.
Thursday, April 23, 2009
Not sure what to title this one...
Well I feel like I'm doing really well! Food-wise, not so perfect, but I'm definitely getting more active.
Sunday night Andrew and I went and played tennis for an hour. We're hoping to make this a weekly ritual (I, actually, am hoping it can be more like 2-3 times a week). I also started walking a lot this week. Tuesday night, Drew and I walked 2 miles. Then last night I met with my lovely friend Sharla at a local school track and walked another 2 miles. And tonight I'll be walking ANOTHER 2 miles. Yay!
I'm hoping to start out with an easy 6-8 miles/week. Sadly, that'll probably be enough to help kick-start this weight-loss. Let's hope so!
I have a wedding in June I'm supposed to go to...... quite honestly I'm horrified at the thought of showing up and my close friend's wedding like this. I haven't seen her since about.... oh.... let's see.... 75 pounds ago? Yeah. Yikes. This is I think right about 8 weeks from now. So hopefully I can do enough in that amount of time to at least feel better about myself. (Although very few people feel confident when they're standing next to this girl. She's about the size of my right arm.)
Wish me luck!
Sunday night Andrew and I went and played tennis for an hour. We're hoping to make this a weekly ritual (I, actually, am hoping it can be more like 2-3 times a week). I also started walking a lot this week. Tuesday night, Drew and I walked 2 miles. Then last night I met with my lovely friend Sharla at a local school track and walked another 2 miles. And tonight I'll be walking ANOTHER 2 miles. Yay!
I'm hoping to start out with an easy 6-8 miles/week. Sadly, that'll probably be enough to help kick-start this weight-loss. Let's hope so!
I have a wedding in June I'm supposed to go to...... quite honestly I'm horrified at the thought of showing up and my close friend's wedding like this. I haven't seen her since about.... oh.... let's see.... 75 pounds ago? Yeah. Yikes. This is I think right about 8 weeks from now. So hopefully I can do enough in that amount of time to at least feel better about myself. (Although very few people feel confident when they're standing next to this girl. She's about the size of my right arm.)
Wish me luck!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
A success! ..... I think.....
So I feel good today. I've had a lot more energy than usual, though I think that may be because I'm officially done being sick. (YES)
I did a pretty good job with my food today. The only thing I'm worried about is that I don't know if I ate enough.
Throughout the course of the day I consumed 2 rice cakes, 2 Tbsp of peanut butter (total.... that's a big change for me), 2 corn tortillas and probably 2oz of mozzarella cheese. I also had a small glass of chocolate milk and lots and lots of water!
So you can see my dilemma. Am I eating enough? I don't know. We'll see.
All in all I feel pretty good. I successfully cleared out all my cabinets and my fridge. I have virtually NO bad food, except a box of Pop Tarts and some unopened chips that I couldn't stand the idea of throwing away. But let me tell you, I can envision the pounds falling off my body every time I walk into the kitchen without reaching for those chips!!
I also woke up this morning with an overwhelming need to accomplish something. In the last few months, I've done very little for myself, my home, my husband. I've been bored, I've been bitchy, I've been messy. I've been A mess. But today I woke up feeling ready, truly ready, for this change. I've been feeling it coming on for a while, I just didn't want the responsibility of taking care of myself. I don't know why.
I've always wanted to be a "clean" person. An organized person. I'm not fooling anybody; I'm never going to be someone with all of my underwear neatly folded and stacked in my drawer, and I'm always going to have the wrong CDs in the wrong cases. But I am, someday, going to have a clean house on a daily basis. I won't have clutter laying everywhere, shoes that I trip over, dryer sheets strewn about the house. It's amazing how much all of those little things affect your overall mood.
So here's to me being (finally) a responsible, clean, healthy adult. :) CHEERS!
I did a pretty good job with my food today. The only thing I'm worried about is that I don't know if I ate enough.
Throughout the course of the day I consumed 2 rice cakes, 2 Tbsp of peanut butter (total.... that's a big change for me), 2 corn tortillas and probably 2oz of mozzarella cheese. I also had a small glass of chocolate milk and lots and lots of water!
So you can see my dilemma. Am I eating enough? I don't know. We'll see.
All in all I feel pretty good. I successfully cleared out all my cabinets and my fridge. I have virtually NO bad food, except a box of Pop Tarts and some unopened chips that I couldn't stand the idea of throwing away. But let me tell you, I can envision the pounds falling off my body every time I walk into the kitchen without reaching for those chips!!
I also woke up this morning with an overwhelming need to accomplish something. In the last few months, I've done very little for myself, my home, my husband. I've been bored, I've been bitchy, I've been messy. I've been A mess. But today I woke up feeling ready, truly ready, for this change. I've been feeling it coming on for a while, I just didn't want the responsibility of taking care of myself. I don't know why.
I've always wanted to be a "clean" person. An organized person. I'm not fooling anybody; I'm never going to be someone with all of my underwear neatly folded and stacked in my drawer, and I'm always going to have the wrong CDs in the wrong cases. But I am, someday, going to have a clean house on a daily basis. I won't have clutter laying everywhere, shoes that I trip over, dryer sheets strewn about the house. It's amazing how much all of those little things affect your overall mood.
So here's to me being (finally) a responsible, clean, healthy adult. :) CHEERS!
The photo that opened my eyes....
This is a photo of me from the week before my wedding. This is, give or take a couple, about 75 pounds ago. I was hot stuff. Now I can only say that I was hot, because this is what I look like now.
YEESH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I was in a wedding last summer. I did the hair and makeup for the bride, and then I got home and saw on my facebook that someone had tagged me in this photo. I thought, "yeah, right, that's not me.".............. It's me. Yikes.
Last September at an annual routine "lady doc" exam, my doctor performed a couple of blood tests. These blood tests confirmed that I have hypothyroidism. (For those of you who don't know, this basically mean my metabolism is shot.) So it's no wonder that I packed on 70+ pounds in merely 2 years.
I've been taking thyroid Rx for the last 6-7 months, and have not gained any more weight. This is a good thing, that my weight has stabilized, but I'd rather be losing..... so that's what this is about.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to be a skinny, self-centered maniac. I want to live a long life. I want to avoid illness and disease. I want to live to see grandchildren and great grandchildren. I want to have MY OWN children. Obesity definitely either hinders or helps along all of these things.
So help me. Hold me accountable. Pray for me, or whatever you do. It's time to turn this life around!
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
"The Pilot": Rules and Guidelines
This is a major commitment. I'm making an effort to turn my physical life around. I have a regular blog on which I talk about "meaningless nothings" (*snicker*), but this blog is purely to make myself be more honest... with.... myself.... ?
I'm not going to put what I had to eat today. It doesn't count (denial) because I'm starting tomorrow.
This is called "The Eat Clean Diet". It consists of eating fresh, "clean", unprocessed foods. It always consists of training your body to eat ever 2-3 hours. This keeps your metabolism up and running.
Here are the "good" foods.....
LEAN proteins- chicken, turkey, nuts, protein powders
Veggies
Fruits
Cheeses (with the exception of of yellow)
Clif Bars
Oatmeal
Brown/Wild rice
Rice cakes
Corn tortillas
Eggs
Yogurt
Water, water, and more water
I'm sure there are other things I can eat, I just can't remember them. :) Another rule is not eating ANY carbs (not even fruit) after 2pm.
Okay, I'm watching Biggest Loser, and I am SO going to do this!! Bring it on, bitches!!!!
I'm not going to put what I had to eat today. It doesn't count (denial) because I'm starting tomorrow.
This is called "The Eat Clean Diet". It consists of eating fresh, "clean", unprocessed foods. It always consists of training your body to eat ever 2-3 hours. This keeps your metabolism up and running.
Here are the "good" foods.....
LEAN proteins- chicken, turkey, nuts, protein powders
Veggies
Fruits
Cheeses (with the exception of of yellow)
Clif Bars
Oatmeal
Brown/Wild rice
Rice cakes
Corn tortillas
Eggs
Yogurt
Water, water, and more water
I'm sure there are other things I can eat, I just can't remember them. :) Another rule is not eating ANY carbs (not even fruit) after 2pm.
Okay, I'm watching Biggest Loser, and I am SO going to do this!! Bring it on, bitches!!!!
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